


remember when

by falconite



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Destruction, Gen, Hurt Steve Rogers, Lots of Angst, Tags Are Hard, also Reader is only hinted at, hint of bromance between Tony and Steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-13 01:14:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11173950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falconite/pseuds/falconite
Summary: What if the Avengers go crazy after retrieving the Infinity Stones? What if Steve Rogers is the last one standing? What if he has to face the hardest decision he has ever made? How will he handle everything? After all, it is not easy to win a war - he of all people should be aware. And we all know that war, war never changes.[loosely based on the MCU Avengers.]





	remember when

It always brought a smile on his face to think about the good ol’ times. Steve Rogers loved thinking about the past, and who could’ve blamed him? Torn away from his time, he had woken up seventy years too late, to a world he could barely recognize. It was easy to lose himself, reminiscing and remembering a past world where he belonged.  
Getting used to the current reality had taken some effort, from him and from those put in charge of monitoring him. But they had been patient and he had been convinced. It was still the Earth he had known and fought for. A bit more crowded and more technologic, but still his home-planet nonetheless.  
So where did things go wrong?

Staring straight ahead, the super-soldier could not help but grimace. New York, it had been blown to smithereens and he felt like it had been his fault alone. Standing on top of ashes and debris of buildings, he clutched his shield tightly to his chest. His eyes roamed over the battlefield, watching the fight playing out in the skies.

He had always admired Tony Stark, whether he admitted that or not – that was another case. The Iron Man suit was a great invention, powerful and all-mighty. But not when used that way. Captain America watched powerless, as a helicopter was blown to pieces. He flinched at the thought of the lives lost in that meaningless war. The number kept on building up, crushing him under its weight. And the worst thing was: it really was all his fault for all the death and destruction brought on.  
In a past time, when things had been less complicated and far easier, he had been Captain America. The star-spangled man with a plan, the super-soldier who had won the war. The same man who had saved humankind from the threat posed by Hydra and the Tesseract. Sacrificing himself in the process was not a hard decision. Not when it meant the possibility to save many people in the process. So how did he fail his people this time?

A long time ago, Steve Rogers had loved, passionately. She had been a blessing, sent straight to him and he couldn’t have been any luckier. But, in the wake of the disaster he was witnessing, he was grateful she was not around to see how things were unfolding. She would not have liked it.  
She had always loved everything and everyone, and Steve admired that of her. She was willing to give people a second chance – even at times when he wouldn’t have been able to. She had always told him of how she dreamt of having a small apartment in the city, just near the Avengers’ tower ‘so I can be near you, Steve’. It was truly a shame how things had turned out. He had dreamt of spending his life with her, grow old and laugh back at the times spent together. But he had been foolish; after all, there was no life with him. He should've known.  
When she had died the world turned grey, void and motionless. But she was not around anymore to see it, so he did not have to worry. When they had taken her away from him, he had been shattered, broken to the last piece. At first he did not believe it, but the void left behind in his heart spoke volumes. Perhaps that was his punishment for not doing enough. That was what he deserved. Trudging through hell every day, watching everything he had loved crumble and burn in flames – without being able to do anything about it. Seemed like a perfect punishment for him.

“Captain!” A young recruit jogged his way, completely out of breath. She had to take a few breaths in, before she managed to coherently sputter a sentence. “The Avengers, they have them!”  
Steve had to smile bitterly, that was a name he did not deserve any longer. How could he be Captain America after everything that was happening? Yet, the words piqued his interest, and the soldier was quick to pick up his shield, now foreign to his touch, moving towards the girl. “Where?” was all he could manage, emotion clearly showing through his somewhat cold words.  
“Fury, he somehow managed to trick them into coming to the Stark tower. They’re locked inside.” she blabbered, nervousness showing through her wide eyes. So the old Fury had managed to lock them up?  
Running to Stark’s tower, he couldn’t help but glance at the landscape surrounding him. It was truly a disaster, something they would have never been able to repair. New York, it was completely gone.

As the Captain arrived, he could hear shouts coming from inside the tower. Mostly from Tony, who had always been the one with the short fuse out of them all. He remembered all the times him and Tony had almost beaten each other. Both with disagreeing ideologies – but both caring and oh so loving to one another. He missed those times, when he could still call Tony his friend. When he could still call the Avengers his family. Yeah, back when the infinity stones hadn’t made them go crazy.  
“Nick?” he called out, knowing the man was somewhere in that building. It was uncanny how in the midst of all that death and destruction, Stark’s tower was still standing. A sign. A beacon of hope in the destruction brought in the name of advancement.  
How many times had he argued with Tony about using tech irresponsibly? He would never listen. Of course he wouldn't. He was Tony Stark, and he would make sure to remind Steve of that.  
“Nick?” he called out another time, eyes wide open in search for a sign from the spy. A hand touched his shoulder, and Steve was quick to turn, senses high in alert. He relaxed when he realized it was just Nick Fury.  
“Captain,” Nick started, his face twisted with pain. “I’m sorry. There’s nothing else I can do.”  
The blonde could only look at the much older spy, a frown taking over his features. What was he talking about? Then suddenly, it dawned on him. He understood everything.

The plan. Nick wanted to nuke Stark’s tower with the Avengers in it. It had been decided upon a long time ago, yet he had never thought the day of it being used would actually come. “Wait!” he gripped the man’s elbow instinctively. “Isn’t there anything we can do? Perhaps we can reason with them. Tony..”  
“Tony is out of his mind, Captain.” Fury gave the man a harsh look, something that made him step back. “Look around you Captain. Look at the scorched earth and the burnt trees. Look at the ruins of New York. This was a bustling city just a few days ago! Look at what the Avengers have done.”  
He stepped forward, placing a comforting hand on Steve’s shoulder. “They used to be humanity’s best hope. But at what cost?” the agent shook his head in disappointment. “I know it’s hard, Steve. But this has to be done.” he gave him a long meaningful look, before breaking contact. “You of all people should know that war isn’t won with compromises. We won’t be able to survive unless we annihilate them.”

The Captain could only sigh, defeated and dejected. Fury was right after all. Steve Rogers had fought countless wars. He had seen the desperation, the death and hopelessness that it brought along. If stopping the war meant sacrificing his friends, he had to do it. No matter how much he did not want to.

Tony Stark had always enjoyed teasing Steve, calling him names. And as much as Steve hated it, Tony was his friend.  
“You let me believe you were my friend.” Tony looked at Steve, hurt written all over his features, shining through his brightly-lit red eyes. Steve couldn't look at him, not like that. He had seen death countless times, faced it, even escaped from its grasp – but this. It went beyond anything he had ever had to deal with.  
“I was your friend,” said the star-spangled man with a plan. Anguish lacing each and every word. “But I was Tony Stark's friend first. Not this monster you've become.”

Sitting in the helicopter Fury had called for them, Steve could not move or speak. He could not even seem to think straight.  
Once again, Steve had to sacrifice everything he cared for, for the sake of humanity. And once again, he was heartbroken, with no one to turn to for comfort. At least, when she had died he had had his friends. Tony had been there for him, cheering him up with his jokes and Sam had listened to him. But now.. how was he supposed to recover from something like this?  
As they flew away from Stark’s tower, Steve couldn’t take his eyes off of the building. His friends, he had doomed them. And once again, he was alone. Just like when he had woken up from his seventy-year slumber. Once again, Steve Rogers had reached happiness, just to lose everything he cared about in a matter of a few hours.

The girl who had brought him Fury’s news sat in front of him, unmoving and silent. The silence that filled the helicopter was driving him crazy – but then again, it was better than having to speak.  
“I knew all of them,” Steve murmured, eyes cast down, staring at the faded colors of his shield. “At least, I thought I did. Once. A long time ago.”  
“What were they like?” she had asked, watching the man-out-of-time closely. She did not even comment on the fact that his remark had been out of the blue, which he had been grateful about. In the background, the sound of an explosion – the explosion of Stark’s tower – accompanied the girl’s word, making it even harder for Steve.  
Some crumpled copy of a smile crossed his tired face and she grimaced. She had wandered off too much and had touched some raw nerve. “They were going to change the world. They really were.” Bitterness laced the words coming out of Steve’s mouth and the man had never looked any older.

They were going to change the world.  
And yet, around them the world burned.  


**Author's Note:**

> hey everyone! hope you've enjoyed this small fic. i wrote this instead of sleeping, so that should speak volumes about the quality of it. hopefully it's not too bad.  
> but if you have any suggestions or criticism, please feel free to let me know! i'd appreciate that.  
> also, english is not my native language, so if there are any mistakes that's why.


End file.
